News from February 8th, 2012

22 / nov / 2012

Hello Website !

Did you notice it’s cold? According to some psychologist’s article I read in the newspaper, “the French population overreacts to unusual temperatures”. I can tell you he’s not from Nice! Well, how are you anyway? I’m fine. Hey, I read such a cute thing! A very well informed guy wrote in another newspaper that I was “from now on, a movie-oriented artist”, like “Sfar ain’t doing any more comics”. Well, that worried me! Since I can’t even go out when I haven’t drawn my morning page. And I can’t go to sleep when I haven’t drawn my evening page. Aow, bother! What am I going to do if I’m “movie oriented”? Come on, if it’s in the newspaper, then it has to be true. Maybe I have forgotten the comics and I didn’t even realise it. Let me get real and have a look. Hem…what have I published this year? Two Chagall, sixty pages each, one Lumières de la France that’s also 60 pages long, a 120 pages Klezmer (20 pages more than the ones before, which forced me to get rid of the endnotes, otherwise it would have been way too expensive). I also did one hundred pages of coloured, king size comics for the Brassens exhibition, and about six hundred drawings for the same exhibition. Right – but hey, maybe the guy from the newspaper knows best. I search my house and what do I find? 35 pages from Klezmer 5, I’ve got 50 sketched pages for The Ancient Time part 2, including ten inked pages, and I’m inking 20 more so that Brigitte doesn’t stay idle. Wait! I’ve also 90 pages from Tokyo part 1. Walter has almost finished colouring them and they will be published in July. Wait! I’ve also sketched the whole Lumière part 2. Oh-oh, we’ve got trouble here: we’ve got two sketched Donjon, they’re not inked yet, we don’t know who is going to draw them. Oh wait, it’s alright, it’s going to be me drawing. I sometimes don’t know why I read the newspapers. Wait, I know! It’s because people want something to happen! So they say “Sfar ain’t doing comics no more” so that they can say “Sfar’s going back to comics” afterwards. Oh well. I feel like saying plenty of rude things, like at school, when we went to see a guy and told him “hey, you’ve dissed me behind my back!” Actually, I’ve never drawn so much since I started doing movies. I probably do it more selfishly, though. I don’t know whether it’s good or not, but I no longer do drawings “to please” at all. When I change paintings or pens all the time in Klezmer, (that’s really something I wanted to do), I think it’s interesting, to create a book using several tools. It’s almost like taking the car to the brink of a ravine. I’m also working on Bayou, with Thierry Laroche and Nicolas Leroy. Well, I get the feeling my obituary was published a little too soon. I feel very lucky to be able to work on movies and novels without stopping drawing. I’m really sorry for the people who don’t like me to do all that. I’m not comparing myself to Cocteau (even my ego is not that inflated) but once he said something I like (as quoted by my friend Stéphane Barsacq) “it doesn’t matter if you jump from one limb of the tree to another, as long as you stay on the same tree”. Well, since I’m no longer drawing, according to the newspapers, I’m not sending you any drawings!

Hugs & kisses lol xoxo.

Joann

News from January 25th, 2012

22 / nov / 2012

Dear Website,

I’m sending you a big illustration from the book Tokyo, to be published by Dargaud next spring. All the pages are done. I think the first album is about 90 pages long, and the second will be published this year. I send the pages without photos on purpose, I’d rather have those pictures discovered in the book. May I introduce the characters? There’s Tokyo. It’s not a city, but a girl with fringed shorts, black skin and red hair. Tokyo is in love with Tiger, a white tiger that’s into old-fashioned songs. El Rey, a big lion, is much more successful than Tiger. And there’s Draw too, she’s a tattoo artist, and Atoll, a vahine and barkeeper, with her jellyfish children. Finally, there’s also poor Mitchell, who’ll become MEAT following a disastrous combination of circumstances. The whole story takes place on an irradiated-but-not-that-much-anymore archipelago, the radiations froze them in a “blue Hawai” mood. The traditional media (TV, computer, smartphones) are going down fast. There’s a new media that attracts keen interest: comics. I’m very happy when I’m drawing Tokyo. Do you like “True Romance”? That’s one of my favourite movies. “Tokyo” is my True Romance. I’m sending you a few scribbles, trying on new clothes for Tokyo. What do you think? Am I going to do the cover based on this illustration? There’s a “Tiger loves Tokyo forever” side that I like. Especially as the inside of the book is real gore stuff, they rip each other’s throat non-stop while banjo and Telecaster music plays. Love xoxo. So it’s really sunny in Gerardmer, I’m slipping on my boxer shorts. I don’t know what’s going to happen to Tokyo, as such, it’s a complete story in two big volumes. Still, I don’t know. I feel like giving the characters a long life. I get the feeling that my teenage/trashy/lovey-dovey side that I dealt with in Grand Vampire ten years ago might well come back and become Tokyo: more sun, tropical islands and violence. Fewer dresses, more mini shorts. I realised that Tokyo looks like Rihanna, I didn’t do it on purpose. But – if it looks that cheap and degenerate, I like it. You see? Just like Forman when he does “Larry Flynt”, a way of saying “the subject doesn’t matter”. Something very embarrassing is also happening to me: after having booed David Lynch for twenty years and repeated he was a total fraud, I’m starting to love him. How did that happen, “Mulholland Drive” was my least favourite movie in the world, and now it’s one of my favourites. Do we change that much? Wait: I still understand very little of it, just like the first time I watched it, except now, I like not understanding it. Please be informed that I’m writing from Gmail and that dumbass program does not handle circumflex accents. That’s why.

Adios Aloha Atoll

Peachy Joann

News from January 23rd, 2012

22 / nov / 2012

Dear website,

It’s very rude to post twice in the same day. Plus it sounds like the guy who’s getting bored because he arrived two days early in Gérardmer before the beginning of the festival. I dedicate this post to Jean-Paul Rouve in the film Poupoupidou , I’ve just arrived at the hotel, I’m waiting for someone to commit a murder so I can investigate and sometimes get pictures, souvenirs from Sophie Quinton naked. I know it’s beside the point, but Poupoupidou is great, you know! Makes you think of Malet, Chabrol, Aymé. Anyway, I came here two days early to get some isolation and write. As for isolation, it’s so perfect it’s almost like a moon station. And if I’m not writing, it’s really my fault. I brought clothes for 8 days, I’m like Thomson and thompson in Tintin, I blend into the landscape. So when I’m invited to China I bring my Chinese hat, in Bayonne I get the béret, in the USA I get a shirt wrapped around my vast chest, I’m a real chameleon. So for Gérardmer, I brought my best horror movies T-shirts. I took the liberty of photographing them so you too can admire them. I’ve got seven T-shirts (one for each day, I’m a clean guy) and two of them glow in the dark. Aren’t they beautiful? I take them out, put them away and notice I was conned: I’m in Gérardmer all right, but where’s the sea (la mer) ? And can I really show off my monsters’ T-shirts in such a weather? Well, it doesn’t matter, I’ll be cold but I’ll still put them on, I thought. What do you mean, no? Oh, jeepers! I read the programme and they do say “formal”. So I’m completely traumatised with these T-shirts! Every time I go out in public, I’m told “maybe it’s not the ideal place for your zombie T-shirts…” even in Gérardmer! Oh well, doesn’t matter, I spread them around in my room and switch off the lights so I can see what a nice glow they have in the dark; sorry for this second post in the same day but you’ll understand how essential that piece of news was.

Joann

News from January 22nd, 2012

22 / nov / 2012

Dear Website,

You’ll find six extremely disturbing pictures. Not only is Sfar back to pure heroic fantasy, but, according to our sources, he does his sketches with CARE. That’s insane, he needs a brain scan. He doesn’t go as far as respecting perspectives or proportions, but it looks as if he REALLY sketches them with CARE! With several colours, and so on. Hopefully, some habits never change, I’m still sketching 50 pages at the same time without knowing how to organise them. Oh, by the way, Enki Bilal and myself won’t be able to work on our comics this week because we are going to the festival of…Gérardmer. There’s a movie about Roger Corman, I’m eager. It’s the first time I’m in a jury. I don’t like voting for or against others’ work too much, I’m going to do like in kindergarten, give everyone straight A’s. Also, it’s the first time I go to a festival of fantastic films. That’s exactly the place I dreamt of when I was a child, at the time of Evil Dead, Company of Wolves, Bad Taste, Scanners, Hills have Eyes. I’ve watched horror films only on DVD for at least 20 years. On a wide screen, it seems even more alluring (I’m old enough to have known theatres showing horror films in Nice. One on the Promenade des Anglais. The other up Jean Médecin Avenue). I’ve been told the selection I’ll deal with does not include really shocking movies. I’ve been told really awfully horrible films are in the “extreme movie” category. What’s an “extreme movie”? Stephen King always says that a horror writer, more than any other, must have irreproachable ethics. Oh well, I don’t want to start with all that stuff, the ethics of horror, it’s inextricable. How can I explain that “Hostel” is a perfect film whereas “Saw” is a revolting piece of shit, according to my standards? What I like with horror movies is that you have to see plenty of them, you get used to watching 50 of those before finding one that’s not so boring, you just need the dedication of the gold digger. Sometimes, bad directors unintentionally make a great movie (who remembers Adrian Lyne’s Jacob’s Ladder?). Why was it good? Because at one point, in a fleeting moment, a nurse lost her bonnet and we discovered a strange bone jutting through her scalp. Sometimes it just escapes the scenario’s logic – a horror movie is a success because at one point, it managed to crack reality. With Polanski, it works all the time. Sometimes, it even works when you haven’t seen the movie! I imagine nobody, not even the director, wants to watch “Human centipede” (nor “human centipede 2”) but it’s already part of the legend, just because of its title and topic. I feel very happy with “sub-genres”. That’s where you find most invention, intelligence, and resourcefulness, given the budget they get. That’s where you find – I think – interesting people. I don’t know if comics are still a sub-genre. Probably not, and I kinda regret it. It’s my generation’s fault if people get interested in comics and take them seriously. Or so they say. I’ve got mixed feelings about that. I’m very happy we get public and critical recognition, but we may have lost some biting, spurting energy. Personally, I long for Métal Hurlant these days. If Gérardmer is on the same date as Angoulême next year, I might go there again!

News from January 16th, 2012

22 / nov / 2012

Heeeere we go! I’m sending you seven sketches from L’Ancien Temps part 2, “Wolf Skin” (La peau du loup). I’m sketching about fifty pages at the same time, but since Brigitte has finished the first ten pages, I should focus on the first sequences. But: I don’t know yet how I’m going to organise the various chapters. We’ll see. So you have five sketches and two character sheets. Yes: I’m having a deep role-playing game revival, I call my pen  “Stormbringer” and I pray Yittaqua, the one that walks with the wind, to make me draw faster but without botching it. Klezmer 4 is released! What else? Sandrina Jardel and I have sent the script for the Little Vampire cartoon and we’re quite happy about it. What else? I’ve reached Level 26 in Skyrim but there’s a bug: it’s impossible to call the dragon by yelling. I’ve been told to wait for an uncertain patch and do comics in the meanwhile. All right. What if I went back to writing comics scenarios? All right, I’m telling you: Clément Oubrerie and I are working on a story of Django Reinhardt. But it will be called Jeangot Renard, and the characters will be animals. There will be two or three albums, to be published by Gallimard. First album next spring. Also, Pénélope Bagieu and I are starting our science fiction series called Star of the Stars. To be published when, I don’t know. Otherwise, I want to protest against our deprecation of national TV products! So you noticed: every time new TV series are announced, we all say “It’s going to be crap” even before watching it. It’s not our fault: we heard so many times lines such as “the series are ambitious, American-style ambitious”, or “the guy who mopped the floor on the Sopranos’ set wrote the script”, or “it was written after a master class with John Truby” or “the writers went very far and immersed themselves, they even spent time in Pigalle, can you believe it! Pigalle is such a rough place, how brave and dedicated of them”. Well we heard that so often, together with the news about “French TV series are back and alive and kicking” every time they release whatever story taking place in the 40’s with simulated sex, shot in totally artificial settings. So we get cautious, we close our eyes, we don’t believe in anything any more. And sometimes even, we DO watch that thing, and like fake witnesses we say “it’s crap” instead of watching it properly. For example, I heard so many things about the “Borgias” on Canal Plus, …I’ve been told such horrors about it for six months that I neither wanted to watch nor buy it and eventually…well, it fell on me and…it’s quite good! Well written, wonderful pictures, impressive sex and violence scenes, almost like an album by Manara (yes, coming from me, that’s a compliment). The actors are beautiful and credible, I don’t know what’s French about this production, maybe just some cash, but it doesn’t matter, it works and it’s really not a disgrace at all, and much less ludicrous than the Tudors with their Zadig & Voltaire attire. So, as far as French series go, I loved Carlos and the Borgias too, in the last few years. I’d like to do series too, the same prestige kind of thing. Like cinema, only three times longer. Last year I went to see Canal Plus and I suggested two ideas:

1: PASCIN. I wanted to do my Pascin on TV. There would be all the great painters at Montparnasse, we’d be hanging around a lot with Soutine, Kiki, Modigliano, Picasso. I wanted it to be explicitly pornographic, and shot in black & white if possible. I was told that wasn’t such a great idea, but I still think it was very good. The Americans would have loved it. It should have been harsh, rough, twisted, not a fancy picture at all. I would have liked that.

 

2: Klezmer. I wanted (and still want) to tell my stories of Jewish gangsters escaped from Isaac Babel’s, I wanted to film in Odessa, the city of Eisenstein and Trotsky. Real Sergio Leone. Leone died before filming his great Russian movie, so there’s something missing here. And chiefly, I wanted the dialogues to be…in Yiddish! I was told I couldn’t. Again, I think they were wrong. Yiddish is a dead language, so we could have broadcast the series in lots of countries without changing the audio track. It would have been written for a subtitled version.

 

I’m perfectly aware that “ porn series about painters in Montparnasse” or “a story of Jewish gangsters in Yiddish” sounds really dodgy and people would have thought “he’s nuts, we’re talking television here, he should understand that success means fake cop stories with poor lighting, taking drugs in the deprived suburbs of Paris”. Well, fine, but no thanks.

I insist: one day I’ll shoot my porn Pascin. And I’ll film my Odessa gangsters…in Yiddish!

From now on, every time I see a new and great and ambitious French series on TV, I’ll scratch my stubble and wonder “is that as good as my Pascin?” “as good as my Yiddish gangsters?” and I’ll say to myself “oh well, their loss!”

Kisses. Love XOXO !!

PS : maybe they read my blog at Canal Plus and think “ow, fuck, we gotta call him back”

PPS: maybe they read my blog at HBO and think “we fucking got to call this schmuck”

PPPS: maybe they read my blog at France 3 (a French public channel) and they’re going to reinvest all the cash from their soap operas in my projects!!!

News from January 9th, 2012

22 / nov / 2012

Dear Website,

 

Everybody’s back to work! I’m sending you two new pages from l’Ancien Temps (the Ancient Time), “Wolf Skin”. There’s a giant from Nice, a unicorn sacrificed on Saturn’s altar – let’s take it with a light heart, but some gravity. If you’re not risking your life, don’t go into faery. Have I mentioned Pierre Péju enough? It’s so rare to find in a “theoretical” book everything I cannot say about myself, about magic, about tales, about their impact apart from psychoanalysis. Pierre Péju answers Bettelheim “so what?”. That’s the question we feel like asking all those smart guys who know it all and explain it to you, who understand so well and are beyond the text. Pierre Péju, like the true writers, takes shelter in the shadow of faery, he’s not looking down upon it, he’s not sneering. What he does? Just like the true writers who say “if I’m a novelist, that’s because writing’s difficult for me, people feeling it comes easy should do other jobs.” When I don’t have the energy to delve again into Frazer or Bachelard, or Seignolle or Henri Pourrat, when I close Pierre Dubois’s spell-books with delight, or Lecouteux’s, I spend a little time at Pierre Péju’s. I recommend this book, it’s difficult to find these days but I love it: “La petite fille dans la forêt des contes” (The Little girl in the forest of tales).

See you soon

Joann

News from January 3rd, 2012

22 / nov / 2012

Dear Website,

The real reason for being optimistic this year is: not believing in Mayan apocalypse. Still, thanks to everyone spreading that rumour: for once, religious obscurantism does not come from the monotheistic side, and that’s refreshing. It’s very comforting for religious people, Christian, Jewish or Muslim, to see they’re not the only backward folks on this planet.

Meanwhile, the little robot at Honda can play soccer, help old ladies and serve pastis. Could we think about giving robots the right to vote too, so our planet will be better managed?

Good resolution for this year: go jogging. I don’t really believe it.

Another good resolution: one of my readers on the Web wrote me that I’d been whining all the time for a while. She’s right. I’ll try to focus on happy things, or see the good side of events. The book crisis? It saves trees. Putin is elected? That’s political stability. This year, I’ll be as optimistic as the Arab League observers visiting Homs in Syria: not that many snipers, it’s getting better.

I’m sending you pictures! You’ll find a mixture of drawings from my photo novel (TOKYO). You’ll also find a draft for the cover of a complete Grand Vampire/Bestiary in love that will be published in Spain/Germany/Czech Republic…and even in France. You’ll also find a page of L’Ancien Temps (The Ancient Time) part 2, coloured by Brigitte Findakly. Also, I’m holding Klezmer 4 right now, I’m very happy about that book because they gave me the paper I had been dreaming of. I don’t know its name but it’s the first time my water colours/gouaches/pencil/tempera drawings are correctly printed. No, that’s not true. Menu had done the same good job on Pascin (La Java Bleue). Well, despite the flicker of the screens, I’m still madly in love with paper and it’s very moving to see a printed book that (almost for the first time) looks like what I’d dreamed to see.

What I’m working on?

*Les Lumières de la France (French Enlightenment) part 2 : it’s entirely pencil-drawn, I’m starting to ink it, we’d love to have it released before next summer.

*Tokyo, part 1: the album’s finished, the colouring’s not finished yet. Release – next spring (or next spring).

*L’Ancien Temps part 2: September. It’s entitled LA PEAU DU LOUP (WOLF SKIN).

*Le Pays des Fantômes (The Land of Ghosts); a novel, published by Albin Michel. Next September.

*La Vieille Princess (The old princess); a novel, published by Gallimard. To be published after the other, but it’s finished.

 

Movies:

Les Lumières: casting’s complete ! It’s full of beautiful boys and girls, and it’s about philosophy. I’d love to shoot it at the end of the summer. Send me lots of money. Seeing how banks fare these days, you could do worse than investing in a movie.

Little Vampire: that’s it! We have CGI Little Vampires spinning around, moving their eyes, their cloak blowing in the wind. The script’s finished. We’d also like a few million bucks to make it a feature film. Helloooo, Mrs. Bétencourt, I’m a little fat but I’m willing to put myself on the line for the movie’s sake.

I wish you optimism, joy and jogging.

Joann

Ps : talking about good news, I’ll be at the fantastic film festival in Gérardmer – during the comics festival in Angoulême.

News from November 30, 2011

22 / nov / 2012

Dear Website,

I was feeling kinda blue last night, so I told myself “how about watching Rabbi Jacob’s dance on the Internet?” It works every time. I see Louis de Funès doing a Hasidic dance and it makes me laugh. In fact, it’s very easy to make me feel good again. Oh, well, not this time…what happened? I watched Youtube and beneath the video, I read “comments were disabled for this video”. They do that on sensitive, explosive, polemical topics like political extremism, terrorism, sex offenders. So Rabbi Jacob too? But why? Louis de Funès dancing is enough for Youtube to disable the comments? So there are people with a computer, people who are not illiterate then, and they get angry when they see De Funès dressed as a rabbi? Well honest, I just don’t understand that, I find that unbearable. Imagining a horde of zombies, whose social life is limited to comments on the Internet, coming to life as soon as they watch something that seems kind of Jewish. Have we really reached a stage when mentioning the slightest Jewish-related topic becomes a “sensitive issue” for Internet providers? Even with such a simple and funny movie, almost completely devoid of any political and ideological content whatsoever? I’d like to learn how that happened. Did the French execs at Youtube say “oh my God, Rabbi Jacob, that’s complicated, let’s close the comments even before the movie’s online” – or was there so much trash in the comments that they had to be cut off? That’s new. No matter how you see it, that’s new. As soon as you write “Jew” somewhere, you get the horde of undead grunting caveman’s insults. Do they get their kicks that way?

Here’s a picture from Klezmer 5. My story takes place in Moldavia, among savages, more than one hundred years ago.

News from November 22nd, 2011

28 / nov / 2011

Dear Web site,

Here comes a new part in the “they’re-really-going-to-enjoy-printing-that-stuff-at-Gallimard’s”series: bits for the cover of Klezmer 4. I took the first picture when it was unfinished, and the other afterwards. It’s gouache, spread out with bad brushes. Then it’s inked with a quill, without waiting for the gouache to dry. I also send you two or three bits from Klezmer 5. How are you doing? I’ve never done so many paintings, water colours, gouache, felt and colour pencil drawings since I got a Cintiq ! No, really, I do respect that thing, it’s a great device, but a little like blow-up dolls that become extremely sophisticated and very expensive, they empty and lubricate themselves automatically, and I’m very happy for the people who get pleasure that way. But me, I prefer to get paint and stuff all over my fingers. Otherwise, and that’s official, I’ve read all the existing books about script, novel and song-writing. And I most officially authorise you to do without them. Those books will be joining the heap of guitar methods in my attic. So you noticed, it’s November, and I must draw! Off to work!

News from october 31, 2011

28 / nov / 2011

Dear Website,

Talking about Sith, I insist, but you should pounce on the just-released 3rd season of Clone Wars. I’ll get my head kicked if I declare that I find the animated series even more aesthetically pleasing than the real Star Wars movies but hey, I’d still say that. A little. The coloured harmonies are very strong and darkened, and the compositions belong to a Fritz Lang movie. As if lots of Ralph Mc Quarries had drawn the whole lot, the way they “brush up” their 3D characters with relief colours. I had never felt such visual satisfaction in science fiction. Well, maybe – when the Incredibles came out. I love it when 3D helps laying out a formal idea: instead of trying to get as many pixels as possible, they choose to simplify their characters. All that is in the narrative, the editing. Stories for little kids, told with grown-up skill. To go a little further, it seems that what we see in 3D movies turns out to be much, much less inventive and stimulating than the Clone Wars series. They’re just unique – like the Thunderbirds. They are not normalised. They use “live” narrative techniques, with extremely simple characters. It’s refreshing for the eyes – and the brain. There. That was my one-minute ad for helping independent filmmakers.

Otherwise I’m working, as usual, on a book nobody is asking for. I finished Klezmer 4, it will be out in the first days of January and then I should do the next Lumières. Or finish L’Ancien Temps 2. Anyway. I’m not doing that now, I’m working on Klezmer 5. I can’t help it, that’s what’s coming out. I’m sending you a few pictures – you’ll tell me what you think. Maybe I’m going to stop in a few pages, and move on to books that are really expected. But there it is, it’s started, I’m sending you seven pictures of Klezmer 5 – the title will be “Kishinev des fous” (Kishinev of madness) or maybe I’ll write “Kishinev” with an “f’”. Otherwise, what am I doing these days? I’m looking for actors for my next movie, Les Lumières de la France. I’m reading books by William Goldman. And chiefly, I’m finishing my two novels. I can’t work on just one thing only. If I tell myself “just focus on that thing”, all inspiration will dry up and nothing comes out. I need to go to a café and read pages of Klezmer and both novels, and I’m working on everything at the same time. I’ve always done that. If I change, something’s gonna be broken. I was in Scotland again, I’ll find myself another place for next week. I’d like the novels to be finished at the same time. L’Ancien Temps for Gallimard Youth and Le Pays des Fantômes (Land of the Ghosts) for Albin Michel. Both titles haven’t been decided yet. I can’t write one story without telling the other at the same time. L’Ancien Temps is a monstrous yet childish world, with mirrors, wolves, queens and fairy tale stuff, there are monsters in the forest but it’s still a shelter. Le Pays des Fantômes is about vampirism, it’s not for children, it’s about various generations furiously fighting in the snow. There’s a vampire, but he’s not nice and cute like in “Le Bestiaire amoureux” (The amorous bestiary). Let’s talk about “why I like horror”, really. It’s for grown-ups who still believe in monsters. Are there still people like that?

Did I already say I don’t like people who make fun of fairy tales or horror movies? You know the ones? The ones who go to see “The Rocky Horror Picture Show” and pretend it’s a good movie – but it’s just a snobbish happening, not a horror movie. Same for the fairy tales. When people watch it with grown-ups’, hipsters’ or professors’ eyes, I feel like punching them with my brass knuckles. A real horror movie is scary for real. A real fairy tale… is, too! If people could stop watching Roger Corman with a sneer, just like “it’s for fun” – well, I don’t find “The Mask of the Red Death” fun at all. If people could stop brandishing Bettelheim and psychoanalysis as soon as someone mentions witches or Little Red Riding Hood, maybe we could remember this: there might be a wolf under the bed. If you want to read something on fairy tales, go and read Pierre Péju’s “La petite fille dans la forêt des contes” (The little girl in the forest of fairy tales). I’m so fed up with people who watch “Plan 9 from Outer space” as if it was a horror movie. “Plan 9” is a sad thing, and Bela Lugosi died afterwards. Go and watch Ti West’s “House of the Devil” then tell me if it’s fun!

I find shelter there – a fairy tale on one side, a horror novel on the other. I don’t know which one I’m the most afraid of, but if it doesn’t hit you as hard as Haneke’s White Ribbon, I’m not interested at all. It has to devour its own children.

By the way, I say hello to Halloween, the only celebration when we don’t get our balls broken by priests, rabbis or imams. A celebration without monsters, so to say.

Oh, and read some E.C. Comics again. No kidding. Get rid of that incredulous, seen-it-all grown-up attitude. It’s time to switch off all the lights, walk in the dark house, fumble for your bed and realise that there’s a cold, dank body where you usually sleep.

PS – Please notice there is no such thing as religious fanatics of Halloween. No zombies protesting in front of theatres when Satan is offended!

Jojo